Saturday, December 18, 2004

States of Awe

***[WARNING: EXTREMELY LONG POST AHEAD. PROCEED WITH CAUTION, HIGHLY ADDICTIVE, ONCE YOU BEGIN READING YOU MAY NOT BE ABLE TO STOP DUE TO THE EXEMPLARY PROSE.]***
I don’t joke about “warnings” so take that seriously.

2:44AM and I am sitting in the Syracuse Airport waiting for my flight that leaves at 6:15AM. I have been here since shortly after 10:00PM.

I have been trying to get writing done on a paper that is due on Monday, but it is kind of hard to write. I did get some good stuff into the intro--which was rather sparse until now. I hope that I will be able to finish it in some manner that I will be happy with. (Well, maybe that is over optimistic, I am almost never happy with the way that my work turns out.)

So, my preferred method of trying to get the creative juices flowing is to write this blog post. Let’s see how it goes.

A number of times in the last few days I have been struck with a feeling of awe. Not at the cold blowing wind that Syracuse has had the last week or so…goodness not that. The awe has been directed at a number of things. So, as I mentioned, I have been in the routine of sleeping in until 12:00PM or 1:00PM and staying up until about 4:30AM or 5:00AM. I really have been liking this. As I mentioned before, my brain seems to focus better at night. I really have no good speculations as to why that might be. (I thought that it could be that I was just tired, but since I was sleeping in late, that can’t be it.) Anyways, all that to say that I have walked home at 4:00AM a number of days this week. One day, Tuesday maybe, I checked the weather before I left and it said that it was -9C but that it felt like -14C. Not too bad, but I was expecting it to be a cold brisk walk home to my warm apartment. (I should add at this point that I really don’t like the cold, I don’t like snow, and I don’t like wind when it is combined with either of those.) So, on the walk home, I soon realized that there was no wind and that there was a fresh layer of snow on the ground but that it was no longer snowing. Since it had just been snowing I suspect that there was a lot of snow still floating around well up in the sky, the result of which was a orangey/pinkish coloured sky. As I walked through the graveyard with the crisp but clean air flowing into my lungs I could see the tombstones clearly. They each had their own personal dusting of snow that made them…well…quite picturesque. As I looked around the whole scene was…awe striking. That is the first case.

A day later I was working on my paper and trying to figure out what to say about these things called ‘plural universals’ that the author invokes in order to solve a problem. I wasn’t happy with the way that these things were looking but I really didn't know what to say about them. So, what do you do when you have a philosophical problem? You go and look in one of the five volumes of David Lewis's collected papers. He has a paper called: “Against structural universals.” Structural universals are not exactly plural universals, however his arguments against structural universals apply (in a more generalized form, I think) to plural universals. At this point I was struck with the: “WOW Lewis was so frickin’ smart! I SO wish I was that smart.” I know that what I just wrote doesn’t sound like awe, but it was. (I mean come on now…you try to describe what awe feels like without using some equally unclear terms like ‘wonder’ or ‘amazement’.) This was the second case.

The third and last case of being struck with a sense of awe occurred when I went into the deep. The deep was cold but warm, wet but dry, noisy but silent, bright but dark, sedating but stimulating, cavernous but uncomfortably small. All of these things it was and none of them at all… the deep can’t be explained, it is understandable and non-understandable. You grasp it or you don’t; if you don’t, then you don’t and if you do, then you do. The thing about the deep is that you really can’t visit it, but you feel like you are always there. People worry that they can’t fathom the deep, but it is just then---in their un-fathoming---that they fathom it. The licentious attitudes that people harbour against the deep will only further push them into the cavernous expanse that is uncomfortably small. When they feel the walls caving in on their noisy but cold inner selves they think that the cavernous expanse becomes fathomable, but this just swells the divide between them and the deep.
Ok, enough subjection. If you think that you understand what I was writing, go see a psychiatrist or something like that, you need drugs! There is a lot of “philosophy” that is as unintelligible as what I just wrote. And lots of people think that—or at least claim that they think that—they understand what is going on in that sort of text. This invoked the sense of awe that I felt.

Meta-thoughts: The first two cases that I described are, I think, quite clear about what the focus of the awe is. However in the third case, the focus is multiply ambiguous. It might be that the awe is directed at the people who write that “stuff” (I am trying to avoid evaluative terms so ‘stuff’ in scare quotes will “do”). It might be at the “stuff” itself; more specifically, it might be at the sheer ridiculousness (oops, evaluative term) of the “stuff.” Finally, it might be the case that the awe is directed at the people who say that they think they can understand what the text is trying to say and why they are not yet on any sort of heavy drugs.

I realize that there are times where we can “say something by saying nothing;” but I think, that anytime this is possible are times where we are expressing something via body language. In the case of the text above, the claim that the author was “expressing something by saying nothing” is false. I agree, the author (ME) said nothing (sheer nonsense it was) but in doing so, I did not also say “something.”


Well…this has gone on FAR too long. It is not 3:35AM. I will save this and it will be posted when I get home.

(Interesting aside: I expressed the thoughts in this post between 2:45 and 3:45 let’s say (rounding off for ease). If I then post them at 11:30AM, have I expressed the same thoughts again? Interesting… I don’t know. If it is the case that I express them again, do I mean something different by them then when I wrote them now? …ok, I do have an opinion: namely, no, the meaning doesn’t change; but I do think that there are some interesting things to say in favour of the converse claim.)

Friday, December 17, 2004

Last leg...

...well sort of. It is now 1:39 am and I am trying to study for my logic exam that is in a few hours. So get this, they scheduled a Logic exam at 8 in the morning...for philosophy grad students. What is up with that. I know that some people are really sharp in the morning, but I suspect that most philosophy grad students aren't really the morning type. Anyways, that is when it was scheduled, so that is when I will write it.

I am really looking forward to that exam being over. I can then get onto finishing one of my papers and then onto another and then finally onto the last one. I will be happy when the first two of the three papers are finished. They have the most pressing deadlines--although they are, thankfully, staggered.

The last few days have been noon-4 or 5 am days. I think that I will continue this until (at least) my first paper is finished. I kind of like it. The night time is good to me. There are almost no people around and it is quiet and I seem to be able to focus better.

Okay, enough blogging; back to logic. I just finished the set theory stuff and now I'm onto semantic modal proofs...happy happy, joy joy!

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Gameboy anyone?

Isn't this cool? Who wudda thunk it?

I really just wanted to share that. By the way, that is a pretty cool site in general; it has lots of really neat things to look at and dream about owning. I suggest that you all have a look (if you are a gadget freak at all, that is).

Friday, December 10, 2004

Plodding along

So, I have a lot of pages to write in the next week or so... let's say about 35. I also have an exam to study for. Oh well... hopefully I will get it all done.

I think that I am finally done all of the substantial work that needs to be done for the ethics class that I was TAing for. I taught my last ethics recitation this year. Hopefully I will be teaching Logic next semester. That is way more fun!

Well, since I said that I would end posts when I didn't have anything to say, I will end this here. I'm sure I'll have something to say soon, however; so keep checking back!

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Instructions

If you are thinking about posting a comment, DO. If you don't want to have to sign up, DON'T (well you can if you want to, if you do, you could start your own blog and then I can link to you and stuff; wouldn't that be cool?). Instead, all you have to do is select anonymous and then sign your name at the bottom of your post (or not, but I'd like to know who they are from). Anyways, I am expecting a flood of comments now from all of my three readers.

Saturday, December 04, 2004

A suggestion

So, I've sat here (in front of my computer) most of the evening. I have not been writing my paper, I have not been reading for my paper, I have not even been thinking about my paper. I was kinda stressed earlier and I just couldn't do it. Things are better now, I think. Anyways, I have a suggestion: If you have a large music collection on your computer (I have ripped all of my CDs to my computer), then I suggest that you go and listen to some tunes from bands that you use to like (or just never listen to anymore), I am almost willing to bet that you still do like them. So tonight I have listened to Pearl Jam "Ten", Smashing Pumpkins "Siamese Dream", Tragically Hip "Road Apples", Spin Doctors "Pocket Full of Kryptonite", and even some Eric Clapton "Unplugged". So far, I have enjoyed the Pearl Jam and the Smashing Pumpkins the most (I'm listening to the Smashing Pumpkins right now and WOW is Siamese Dream a good album; excellent lyrics and excellent music).

Friday, December 03, 2004

your sentiments?

I can't help myself. Spirit of the West is awesome! I share the sentiments of this song. Do you?

D for democracy
you with the jaundiced eyes, drunk on your own reflection
propped up with desks and flags, 8 chairs short of
perfection
lines drawn here, there and everywhere
none of your own volition
unrecognized you pace you shadow
stripped of all your definition
scour the house, flip the wig,
shake the tree, until your whereabouts are known to me
you've been abused and cheated,
shat on you're beyond defeated
those who rise stand in your name,
then treat you roughly once they're seated
your pen in one, their sword in the other
satisfied the blessing is given
in god they trust only their way one way
afraid of the other isms
scour the house, flip the wig,
shake the tree, until your whereabouts are known to me
the grass is always greener
under western skies
but your Norman Rockwell nation
is being choked by weeds and vines
look here the old grey mare
she ain't what she used to be
look here the old grey mayor
he's all he's cracked up to be
scour the house, flip the wig,
shake the tree, until your whereabouts are known to me

Thursday, December 02, 2004

i just don't get it

Okay, first go and read this.

Now that you are back, I suppose that you know a little more about AIDS in Africa.

So, here is what I don't get: why does the USA not place any weight in the WHO approval standards? They are more than willing to give the money (and a lot of it) to various African countries, yet they are not willing to let them buy drugs that have been approved by the WHO and do work. Here are a few ideas, some less optimistic than others.
  1. The company that makes the more expensive drug is located in the USA. I hope that this is not the case; or if it is, that this is not the motivation. I suppose that this would be easy to verify. If someone who reads this wants to do a quick search, feel free (and post it if you do!).
  2. There is some moral objection. Now, this is nothing that is based on God or anything, so don't worry too much. Here is the objection: If we give money to someone who is going to spend it on something that we will not let our own people purchase, then we should not give the money. (Or at least, in this case, put stipulations on how the money can be sent.) Is this a crazy idea? No, but is it justified in this case? I'm not sure.
  3. There is the worry that some people might be harmed from the drug. I have problems with all of these reasons, but I think that this is the worst one (and I think that it is connected with the first). This is a terrible reason because in this type of situation what I think we ought to do is some sort of utility calculation. I.e. figure out how many people will benefit from the WHO supported drug and how many will benefit from the USA supported drug. Then, subtract the cost in people suffering that the WHO drug will incur (if any) away from the WHO total and subtract the harm that the USA drug will incur (if any) from the USA total. Also, you need to subtract the harm done to the people who are NOT treated by the USA supported drug because of its prohibitive cost. I VERY VERY VERY highly doubt that the USA supported drug will turn out better.
So, what is the deal? I mean WHY on earth would the USA make such a restriction? I just don't understand.

[After re-reading this, I realize that there are very sloppy parts, but since I am not going back to fix it, they will remain. Questions for my (at least) three readers, are there other justifications? If so, what are they?]


While I'm sending links, you may as well go here as well. Enjoy!

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

far too Canadian?

This is a song called "Far Too Canadian" by Spirit of the West. I know that the people who read this are Canadian, do YOU share these sentiments?

I'm so content to stand in line,
wait and see, pass the time,
talk a streak, fall asleep,
wake up late, whine and weep,
I kiss the hand that slaps me senseless,
I'm so accepting, I am so defenseless,

I am far too Canadian,
I am far too Canadian,

I pick the bones of what's been done,
and I'll lick them clean with a cautious tongue,
in dim lit rooms, I'll spill my guts,
I'm the revolution when the doors are shut,
I bite the hand that slaps me senseless,
but my patience it is.. too relentless,

I am far too Canadian,
I am far too Canadian,

I am the face of my country,
expressionless and small,
weak at the knees, shaken badly,
can't straighten up at all,
I watch the spine of my country,
bend and break,
I'm in a sorry state,

I scratch the walls to mark the days,
with my coup-de-tete, I am locked away,
with mother Jones, pots of tea,
the kitchen poster, anarchy,
I never march in demonstration,
I hold my breath for arbitration,
I am far too Canadian,
I am far too Canadian,

I am the face of my country,
expressionless and small,
weak at the knees, shaken badly,
can't straighten up at all,
I watch the spine of my country,
bend and break,
I'm in a sorry state,
I am a sorry state,
won't you welcome to the sorry state,

weak at the knees, shaken badly,
can't straighten up at all,
can't straighten up at all,
straighten up at all,
all.